When I was growing up we used to talk about "fair-weather friends." Those were the people who hung around you when you were in good spirits and your life was going smoothly. When something bad happened, or you weren't in the greatest of moods, they were conspicuous by their absence! Back then to be considered a fair-weather friend was a criticism. Fast forward to today. My how things have changed!
I'm christening a new title for friends who rise to the occasion when you've got a problem and need HELP! Foul-weather friends are those who rush to your side when a crisis arises. Our generation has developed the capacity to rally when a friend is in need. We need these people to support us and ease the pain we're experiencing at the time. In fact, I believe we need both kinds.
Each has a sixth sense about when and where circumstances require their specialty. I no longer consider my fair-weathers neglectful. Heck, I benefit greatly from them when they're around. They know how to stay focused on the positive. They are the best partiers. They know how to have fun and enjoy living in the moment. When the going gets too tough for them, they remove themselves. Instinctively, they know they aren't much good in an emergency. How emotionally healthy of them!
Of course, I love my foul-weathers because they provide all the hugs, motivation, band-aids, and salve I need to get through the crisis. I depend on them and trust I can lean on their shoulders during a difficult time. Once their work is done they intuitively know to move on to another in need knowing I'm back on my feet and centered again. They did their work and I appreciate it.
Then, there are the select one or two rock-solid best friends that stick with you through the entire roller coaster ride of your life. They are the blessings in my life. I want them close by at all times. We lean on and support each other through it all, but I don't want to exhaust them by drawing on them exclusively. Otherwise, I'll burn out a valued relationship. Sometimes that close friend is not available due to a crisis She is handling in her own life. That's where the rest of the crew comes in. I spread my needs around to be filled by the fair-weathers and the foul-weathers, giving and receiving the best of what each has to offer. In doing so, I appreciate what each has to offer without pressuring or demanding something that they can't give. Allowing each to flow in and out of your life respects the individual for who she (or he) is and keeps the door open for her return.
